This text does not come from me. C is a friend that sent it to me. I may not resist the temptation to share it with you, as it is touching, simple and true!
holiday special ...
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| Christmas 2009 |
We will be pleased to see us during the holidays this year! As these visits can be very difficult for me, here is some information that could prevent snags.
As you probably know, I am suffering (e) a hidden disability, autism, sometimes referred to as a pervasive developmental disorder (PDD). Autism / PDD is a neurodevelopmental disorder which I find hard to understand what is happening around me. My brain has obstacles, even if you do not see them, I make it difficult to adjust to my environment.
I can seem abrupt or rude (e), but only because I have to make enormous efforts to understand people and make myself understood at the same time. The
autism have different abilities: some do not speak, others write very beautiful poems, others
are "mathematicians" (we think that Albert Einstein was autistic), or are struggling to make friends. We are all different and we need help to varying degrees.
Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, I feel pain and I feel like to flee. Also, I'm frustrated easily. When I find myself in a large group, it's as if I was about to board a moving train, I never know when and how to rush forward. I often feel confused (e) and frightened (e), as you might you too if you had landed on another planet without knowing how people are communicating with one another.
is why I need things to change as little as possible. Once I learned how it goes, I'm doing, but if one thing changes, I have to relearn the situation from the beginning! It is very difficult.
When you try me talk, often background noise and bustle prevent me from understanding what you say. I'm making a big effort of concentration to hear you and I do one thing at a time. You might think I'm pretending not to see you - I assure you not. I am trying to hear everything, not knowing what I should respond first.
The holidays are especially difficult for me because there are a lot of people to meet, places to visit and things to do beyond my ordinary world. It may be exciting and fun for most people but for me it's a lot of work and sometimes it stresses me a lot. I often need to find myself alone (e) to calm me. It would be great if you had a separate room where I could retire. If I do not sit (e) to table during the meal, do not think it's because I am not wise or that my parents raise me wrong. It is often impossible for me to sit (e) a quiet, even five minutes. With the smells, sounds and people around, I feel agitated (e) and submerged (e), and soon I can not go: I must get up and I'm shaking a little. Especially, do not wait until I finish! Continue without me and my parents will do their best to remedy the situation.
Meals are usually difficult for me. Because autism reaches sensory processing, you will understand that the food poses a particular problem to me! Think of all the senses are involved when eating: sight, smell, taste, touch ... not to mention the complex mechanisms of mastication and swallowing, as many autistic people have difficulty controlling. These are not frills! I just can not eat certain foods because my sensory system and (or) my coordination oro-motor are affected.
Do not be disappointed if my mom did not endimanché (e). She knows how and frilly clothes can drive me crazy hard! It is imperative that I wear comfortable clothes, otherwise I will not be the world! Temple Grandin, an autistic adult known for his great intelligence, teaches that when she was little and they made him wear starched petticoats, it was like rubbing her skin with sandpaper. This is often how I feel in formal wear.
When I'm at the other, I can seem authoritarian, tyrannical. In a sense this is true, because that's how I adapt to the world around me (this world so hard to understand!) Things must be conducted in a predictable way, otherwise I get confused (e) and frustrated (e).
That does not mean that you must change your habits ... Just be patient with me and try to understand what I saw. Mom and Dad have no control over the feelings that autism is born in me.
Autistic often develop tricks to feel more comfortable. The grownups call it the "self" or the "stimming." I rocked, I hum, I wave my fingers in front of my face, I beat the arm ... whatever my behavior, I'm not trying to be funny or disturbing. I do what I do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I can not help but talk, sing or do an activity. That's what grownups call "perseveration". It looks like a little self-regulation or self-stimulation. In fact, I found an occupation that puts me at ease and I do not want to go out and join your world too complicated. These repetitive behaviors are a good thing, insofar as they help me calm down. Please follow the will Mom or Dad if they let me do some time, they are the ones who know best what calms me.
Remember Mom and Dad are watching me more closely than the average child. They know what to do to ensure my protection (and your furniture) and to facilitate my integration into the world of the "neurotypical". It saddens my parents when they are accused of too mothered me or not to watch me closely enough. They are human, after all, but they issued a mandate requiring instead that they are saints. My parents are good people and need your support. During
holidays, life is full of sounds, smells and images. The average home turns into a beehive of activity. Remember that this will be fun for you, who have a neurological system typical but me, I will work hard to abide. If I lose the pedals or I behave in a way that you feel is socially incorrect, please, remember that I do not have a neurological system tailored to your rules.
I am a unique person, an interesting person. I would find a way to behave which will put us all to feel comfortable during this holiday, if you try your hand see the world from my point of view!
Thank you, Linda, for letting us know if this beautiful text!
