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genetic transmission from father to son? Really?

More and more researchers support the theory that says that autism (is it confirmed now?) - Of which the parties Syndrome Asperger's - is inherited from father to son. Many of their research has highlighted the strong likelihood that a father will aspis with almost certainty children aspis. And the mother? Hey no! It is not excluded because other researchers have made a different light on the DNA of parents indicating that the combination of personality traits "ASPI" of any other belonging to the genetic traits of the other, a small suction procreating ... hmm .... For us parents, this raises many questions! And fears of all-in-fact justified, particularly if the child is the first splash of the family ... So I looked at my poor brain and my ex-husband, Lolo Dad and Tom ..
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Do not panic! I do not decide the issue here. I'll share just a slice of my experience, my personal life. Point. Perhaps you will recognize you. But maybe not! :-)

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I met Dad (hereinafter called "the Dad " (!)) By Thomas at work. The Dad , therefore, worked mostly in his office, his head leaning on his computer screen. I remember smiling to see his approach bears!: Elbows tucked, head bowed, hands and feet moving simultaneously on the same side when walking: -0. When he smiled, he seemed to light up inside. It was a thrilling experience of transformation and ... lovely! :-) It was pretty bad character me and my colleagues do well not to antagonize them. Paradoxically, they liked her for her dedication and Computer Engineering: always ready to supp time, even on weekends!

Sigh! Simply being told that we should not do something that unfortunately, I do! So I found their feet entangled in spinning the company server which The Dad had just finished setting up after hours of work! Buuuuuzzz .... Ahhhh !!!!..... was the two noises heard within 5 seconds of my blunder , one from turning off the server, the other of my mind panicked! And the fateful question was launched: "Who did this ?????? " ... And this is our first contact ... :-)


As I was working regularly under contract or freelance, I often change the workplace. To facilitate my integration into my new temporary team, I like to throw my way devolved on one or one of the employees and make my challenge. My goal with The Dad ? Make him laugh once a day! :-). From a full-bodied coffee with a cigarette - something already passed since 9 years, I assure you! - A little smile to another, we become friends. I discovered, in its shell grumpy, a simple creature, who says what he thinks and believes what he says, whose values are very rare nowadays, with a great need for stability, and ability 'extraordinary commitment. Wow! It still exists, men like that? I told myself ... I spent three months there. We started when we attend the closing of our employer. We married a year and later I became pregnant almost immediately after my second child - the first of our marriage, my Lolo, both wanted pregnancy. And this was the beginning of the end ...


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From lovers transit The Dad was physically removed. Of course he was attentive! I do not know the number of McDonalds that it brought me at times inhuman, especially for France!, In order not debatable ME! We moved there in my 6 months of pregnancy for a new contract The work Papa . Throughout my pregnancy, there was little intimate relationships ... He did not touch me as if my contact aggression. Many fathers are responding, as I say! The woman and the man barely changed to find the woman in the mother, who is becoming more and more space. Arguing with my then 10 year old son, born from a previous relationship, such as increased small cock fighting. Then, Lolo was born. And the Dad narrowed further. The unplanned pregnancy of Thomas, one year later, put the final nail in the coffin of our marriage in the Dad causing a constant need emotionally difficult routine to follow or a way of reigning single and inflexible, as had shown him, and to exclude more and more of our life together. My loving husband and tender of the first year was quietly replaced by a good friend without tenderness or cuddly, or sexuality.

Our return to France has not improved our relationship. Lolo was then 2 1 / 2 years and 8 months Thomas.
We moved into our new house. Dad spent many, many times in the office, in front of it, sometimes 36hres a row, where I found him asleep, his head bent over his computer keyboard. Unable to sit one beside the other on the couch. He told me that "it hurt him, our 2 packages of bones that rub together" Our intimate relationships were limited to a few times a year, and seemed more obligatory than enjoyable for him. At the table, even the youngest (3 and 1 years) should not put your elbows on the table, because it was not done. Our discussions lead nowhere. But I was not married to divorce me! Sigh !.... I do not understand .... I did not understand more ... It was, or the tender and loving man? One with whom I spent a lot of time in bed, with whom I dreamed of a united family, upon whom I could count, which secured me? When my eldest son aged 14 then left my home to live with his biological father, I went to the threat of a lover and the proposal for a friendly cohabitation that we can bring together our Children, I board again and that a woman's life satisfaction. Nothing did. Result: 4 years after exchanging our vows, he is gone ...


And then I realized
Thomas was then 2 1 / 2 years. Within months, his life had been turned upside down (see previous text). His aggressiveness has increased and he began to self-harm. Meanwhile, my research to help my son have intensified. After a few years, I fell on Asperger Syndrome. EUREKA!! not only my son seemed to be a vacuum, his father had the exact profile of the adult aspirations that ignorant! That day is one of the greatest of my life so far ....

I do not know if The Dad thinks aspirations. For me, it is 100%. Impression confirmed by the team of specialists Tom. No, I do not mention him ... I do not know how to talk about ... And am not convinced that it is for me to do. But maybe he could help Thomas if one day he needs it? Finally ... This is another story! ;-)

Do I believe that the gene of Asperger Syndrome is actually transmitted from father to son? I have not the certainty, because without being a pure aspie, I also sprinkle personality traits. I am convinced that The Dad is a vacuum. This is a reality for me.
The
have known a few years ago would it change anything? YES! YES YES YES YES and YES! My expectations were different, as a friend, then as wife and mother. Would I have married? Honestly, I do not know. This n'esttoutefois not impossible. I'm not afraid of difference. I've never been afraid ... All this I could never verify, of course!. What matters now is that I know .... And it's so good and relaxing!

Photo: Dad and Lawrence (not pictured with Thomas) (Boulogne-Billancourt, France 2000)

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holiday? From school, definitely!

AHHHHHH! Finally! the holidays! The REAL Holiday. Holidays getting up early ... Holidays to the bus .... Holidays governance, monitoring, closed discussions .. Nay! Demolition of walls! (Figuratively and clean one up, in my case, with the other ... :-)) I can store my whip and my binoculars and "m'éffoirer" - because this is the right word - in a welfare verging on bliss ....

But ... I will get there? Already in my head I see the first meeting with the new teacher Tom, if I'm lucky, know who I mean when I talk about my son. I see the implementation of the Plan of Intervention sought in conjunction with the CLSC and me ... Then, the succession of all the silly not to do and we have forgotten to write .... I hear the manager tell me "yes but it was not written! " replacing an exemplary manner the famous " yes but Thomas goes to school" and another phrase 2008 "I understand, ma'am. " As if hearing and understanding meant the same thing!

.... But no ... but no! We shake your head ... And resume !....

AHHHHHH! Finally! the holidays! The REAL Holiday. Holiday to get up early ... And blah blah blah .... Of course! I will take my vacation with a childlike joy that I share with my little loves little devils! I intend enjoy ourselves, against all odds! The school, even if it can not disappear, do not screw up all those moments that will make sure good memories. And I'm not satire! I

gives us 1 month. 1 month relaxation; family activities, discoveries of laughter and tickling! 1 month which belongs to us! Go! School! Oust! You are no longer welcome in my family! Go back up and disappear! Up to August, or I'll leave it to a new place (trop!) important to my brain, a brain rested and ready to fight again if necessary!

So much advantage of my absence, School! We meet again soon enough with the hope of a better year ...!

Photo: June 1, 2010

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Family and medication: Again??

In the previous article, I share with you a regular morning at the Zoo's Black Sheep ... I grazes hyperactivity Lolo and behavioral differences from his medication. And in my head, I hear: "Still on medication??" Yep! yet ....

Frankly, the diagnosis of Lawrence (February 2010) and medication that followed has greatly improved the family lunches, decreasing by 50% impulsive morning. Today's blast of sound that arises from early morning fights between Thomas and Lolo (see aspis vs. hyperactive: BABOUM) is limited to Bang! ... Firecracker Gun!

Reduce noise, better control over the child, facilitating the role of educator ... Is this reason to medicate a child? NO! Absolutely not! And those who believe are definitely wrong. The one and only reason for me is the well-being of the child. Period.

2 children, two stories ...

Thomas atypical small aspirations. It differs from most other syndrome children is its high impulsivity. Impulsive + 0 + empathy = aggression anxiety and violence. Verbal and physical. Against objects, and to others ... I mean bite the blood, beatings, screams, Objects Launched (bowls, plates, toys, knives against people and animals). The school spoke to me then expulsion and placement in an institution for children with behavior disorders ... Over one morning, I fear for my other children on seeing a few centimeters from their face ceramic bowls or ranges. More than one night I wondered if the window of his bedroom resist ... More than a day I watch my baby spit ill-being with a strength I never knew existed in a children 6 and under ...

Then came medication. Is the same as the hyperactive and attention deficit disorder. I, who rejected this medication for my eldest son, who has seen children "zombies" via the parallel virtues of Ritalin and his family, who still struggles against the lazy teachers who want students' robots without personality and uniqueness! ; This allowed me the same medication with some reluctance and a ..... relief!

24H anxiety
24hres The first was an ordeal for me! I never see a child as my Tom during this period: he walk normally? and its language? Do I understand what he said? He area dozing? His eyes are glassy they? Seeking he sleep? No, no, no, no, no and no. Nothing. Just smile, Thomas was playing, jumping, talking, eating normally .... Normally? Ben, come on! Where did my little Tom aggressive? unable to keep a friend more than 30 minutes? throwing objects at the head of his world and yelling? The more I looked, the more my eyes widened. What I saw was a healthy child in her skin, happy and controlled ... by him!

Somewhere in these 24hres, Tom told me. "I'm fine mom." In the days that followed, crisis situations "occurred. And Tom has managed ... er .... better managed. Fini, the dishes flying. No more blows - apart his brother, of course ...

Thomas medicate for 2 years. And it is definitely a success. No. He did not become someone else. No, it does not heal. It the moderates. It allows him to better control themselves in moments of anguish, moments that still reflected by impulsivity and aggression ... lightly. Today, the threat of a school for children with behavioral problems disappeared. Today, my son has friends ... Today, when anguish comes, more often than before, he asked to isolate themselves, or does the Zen to calm ...

Medication has certainly improved my quality of life and ease my grip on Tom, but more importantly, it allows Thomas to facilitate their learning of the company managing it easier impulsive and all that follows. This is one of the best decisions I made!

Lawrence: with mild hyperactive attention deficit disorder. I previously wrote "The hyperactive is a being whose impulsivity urges him to move constantly, loudly and quickly. (...) but is angry and impulsive. "From his mother, the school principal spoke of medication for my Lolo. Seems it lacked attention, he could not sit long, he spoke without stopping. ... And OK? ... His notes? Good. His friendly relations? Good. .... Well then, why medicate? So I refused. Of course, my son climbed 3 shelves of the library before they even walk! course, so he moved 18 months ago that I avoided going to visit friends without kids (too exhausting for them). Of course, it lives for the adrenaline ... Will do with his personality.

Years have passed. Last year (4th year - 9 years), the notes began to play in the elevator. Became restless and more ... problematic. He was unable to sit on a chair. I say not. At school, his teacher told me a little nothing bothers him, it makes noise all the time ... he wears just his mouth ... And notes that fall ... 35% ... 69% ... 46% ... And the question arose: would it be a REAL hyperactive? At my request, a past for Lawrence Connor to his teacher last year, this year and myself. And that was a possibility became a reality. More as an IQ test went through school without my knowledge (!) - Sigh! - Reveals a dysgraphia (difficulty with understanding a sequence of words - Engineering in math, decomposed in problem solving / engineering reading rotten in synthesis of text).

We started the medication a week ago. Again, that is fundamentally against me, should abdicate my son feel less restless and more available for their academic learning and impulse control has considerably improved. Am I

for medication? NO! However, be refractory and closed is not a better solution. Starting a medication is not a lifetime subscription. If, after an official diagnosis, you, as parents, you do not like what's happening in your child, you have the power to stop it. Not sure this is the right solution? Talk to your doc - I feel a bit like an old TV ad !.... - And let you do a test. Your child will not have any sequelae and finally !.... YOU KNOW! :-) And it is worth all the gold in the world!

Photo: Lawrence, in April 2010

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= Hyperactivity and aspirations .... Baboum! :-)

In my family zoo, there is Thomas, of course! Lawrence, his elder by 22 months, 12 years old Antoine and Little Miss Sarafaye junior. He lives in an apartment for several years and is autonomous. My daughter is a real Germaine (she manages and leads!) And I use as extra eyes and ears - what ben! my own peers I'm not satisfied! A little help is appreciated ... :-) And Lawrence .... 2nd my first child (10 years between him and his older brother, it makes me 2 first!) ...

Lolo, as I affectionately called, is my genius-gifted-athlete-art! In short, it is an all-mixed ... Hyperactive! Hyperactive as in very active? Moving without stopping? NO! as in the learning disability hyperactivity-e! ADHD ..

Good. And then? Sigh! ... The hyperactive is a being whose impulsivity leads him to move constantly, loudly and quickly. It certainly has empathy (actually, it is the best nurse I know! For ti-guy, is not nothing ;-) no offense, gentlemen! ), But is angry and impulsive.

So we have a side Mister Aspi, milk-soup, with a deficient sense of humor and a light dose of credulity. And in another corner of the ring is Mister ADHD, inattention, as bright as its opposite, knowing how to do it easily jump and therefore punish.

and go! Mr ADHD refuses to go to Mr. Aspi milk which does not say please, Mr Aspi insists that squeaks. Mr ADHD does not remove leaves and pushes toward the opposite pint of milk coveted. The cries of birds, Mr. Aspis going into high gear and launches a series of insults that even my poor mother's ears, yet who have heard others have trouble hearing. And now Mrs. Mom intervenes and the referee starts the count: "1 2 !.... !.... 21 / 2! ... And ....." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiip .... the siiiiiiilennnnnnnce ... Phew!

But it was a sham because Mr. ADHD has not said its last word and thinking not looked out of his mouth a piece of pink tongue and challenging, bringing out Mr. Aspi control ... The plates fall and fall ... the insults fly low, scattered clothes. In short, Mr. Aspi take away everything that surrounds it. Time passes and soon, he finds himself half Aspi dressed, sitting in the backseat of my little Focus, wedged between the seat of his sister and his half-sister 5'9 ", all the way to school. And as an excuse to tell Lolo: I not on purpose! is part alone! "

Daily life, "stuck" between my two little devils, is rather hectic and full of bounce! Lawrence is the provocateur, and Thomas is trapped. Unlike families "conventional" level of impulsivity at the table is rather ... high.

Ayeyeye! Impulse two competing parental attention ...... That's one of my mornings ... a morning like any other home at the Black Sheep ZOO!

Photo: Round - August 2006