Tom was born in France, Boulogne-Billancourt (9200) a few minutes from Paris. Baby, it was not active: it made no sound, not moving much, had almost no expression. About 3 months, I am a little worried it was my third child, after all! This lack of communication was not blatant, but to me it was obvious. He slept well, ate well, watched the light properly react to the sound. Oddly, his first reaction when you approached him to bite our fingers, and / or scream. I also remember having written that when he was awake and in my arms, he looked at me with such intensity, focus and depth that it put me uneasy. It was like the look of an old man in a small body of baby ... And he was not smiling. I talked about Tom's behavior to my pediatrician. She said just give it time. Thing I did. Time passed. Thomas has continued its evolution almost normally. He sat down, stood up, walked at normal ages. However, he kept his baby talk until they came into class and he cries often for no apparent reason today.
Tom has always been angry. While small, it tended to hit the ground face several times. At 18 months (we were now back in Quebec for over a year), he started daycare at frequencies of 3 days a week. I was working as a freelancer and these 3 days were enough for me to fulfill my contract. It was a disaster! Blows repeatedly, violence, launching of objects, mordage ... He calmed down after 3 weeks 3 days quickly became a half-day (!) Spent in the park in the room, closed the door, the guard sitting next ...
At 2 years, his older brother left home. At 2 1 / 2 years, his father is gone. The combination of these two events are very likely "the trigger". The crisent have increased in frequency several times per day, and intensity. My attempts to calm my little Tom and reassure remained unsuccessful. In fact, when Thomas put himself in this state, the more I approached, the violence increased, up to remind me to hysterics. It was so small and so enraged! I am really worried then. It was obvious to me: my toddler did not respond as others. He was different ...
I again consulted my pediatrician. After several visits and tests, he told me about temperamental children. I did not know .... but it might be possible .... I had already heard a little like that, so distant and nebulous ... then maybe ... And I'm the hardest thing in my life! Under the guidance full of good will from my doc, I put a lock on the door of my son 2 1 / 2 years, placed a chair near the door, seated myself there, asked him every 5 min chrono: "Tom, are you ready to calm down?" desperately hoping hear the "yes" liberator who had, in fact, 2h30 to 3h later. During those long minutes, I heard my son screaming, hitting his head and nose to the ground to bleed. One evening, blood has flowed under the door. This was only his nose, but I got the fright of my life! And it was the last night ... for him and for me!
On the next visit, my pediatrician said we could not pursue the investigation further until they were educated. And me? I had to do what, in the meantime? Remained there, watching him hurt himself? Nonsense! I started reading about all the psychological and psychiatric disorders I could lay the hand of the Child King (is that my education?) through the Child Teflon, to the anguished Temperamental Treble and Schizophrenia. But voila! Nothing was what I saw and lived with Tom.
Our friends started to space their visits, invitations have become scarce; family cacasser , which is in secret to the poor education of my son ... Everyone had his own ideas ... The ruling is so easy! And people fear and shun what they do not understand. Lolo my son and my daughter began to suffer from these negative attitudes ... Myself, I did not dare go out, fearing the unpredictable reactions of Thomas and not knowing explain. For me, the rule was clear: do not want Tom, it does not want me or want my other children. We are a family, we took all or none!
I continued to seek answers and tell those who remained close to me that my Tom was not a bad boy. It was different, and for now, I could not say why. Tom was then nearly 5 years and I saw her come to school like this that I would deliver the good news or at least stabilize my little alien! I was wrong ...
Photo: 3 months - Boulogne-Billancourt, France
0 comments:
Post a Comment