A 100x100 Times Table

misunderstanding or limited? That is the question!

Thomas, in January 2011

Tough to be parents of aspirations! We live, day after day, the same accusation: we are constantly in the eyes of neurotypical, very bad parents! It was nice to defend themselves, the people we interact, that we cross, are judges and jury. It tells us in the family .... we felt at the grocery store, the fact we live in the park.

The bla bla of women before us in the queue at the cashier of the store ... "but not, you AC s'peux!" when your son takes the excuse of "NO!" to his request to make a gum bubblegum crisis irrational ... Or the uncle who answers you so unconvincing "if thou say!" when you try to explain why you can not t'interposer while ransacking everything in your child's room cottage ... A good spanking, seems it would settle the question! ...

Ah !.... If only they knew ... If only they could understand! But, in fact, how could they?? Change places with them .... Imagine a few moments you're told that your little son has Asperger Syndrome ... ( Of what?) That is a form of autism (ben non! Autistic it drools, it does not concern you in the eye and it shakes the arm in all directions!) The nickname of this ... thing! is the invisible disability ... and that is why you do not always punish instantly, you need to make psychological intervention when her anxiety rises ... (This is not the anxiety that! It is a refusal to obey!) That you must temper more often than not! (Heu. ...) And above all he must learn to temper SE ... (And what else!) And if in addition, the child says bad words ... ayayaye! This is the straw that broke the camel's back! At any time! But let us .... Let us then or we did not have kids yet different ..... Most of us would look like this woman and this uncle ....

With the diagnosis, we have forgotten our own prejudices ... Surely we have packed as soon as we felt that our child was different ... And if that was not ours, this child? Should we believe the word of apology from our son, sister, daughter-in? Or do we not tempted to think that it is the kind of mother, he is the kind of father who wants to be "friends" before "the teacher?" We live in a society ease or children kings reign victorious in many families ... This does definitely not help us. How can we expect it to spontaneously believes that invisible difference?? Are we not fallen even nudes when the diagnosis was announced??

I realize over time that I can not impose this understanding to people who do not live inside my house ... not that we must let these people said anything, but we must learn to accept their incomprehension. Not all are excellent researchers web! :-))) Warning! I am not talking about rejection! That is worthy of another column! ;-) No. I speak that, despite all the effort we put, it is possible that we will not get the desired results: the acceptance of the pathology of our children by our family and even less! foreigners. We must learn to "do with" ...

course! bounds, there is! People who have no good will ..... which, despite the accumulated evidence supports the hiding of the eyes under thick blinders several kilometers !.... But between you and me, I do not think they are our neighbor, our cousin, the lady from the grocery store .. There not just aspis who do not destabilize! Humans love nature, stay in the familiar. These people simply prefer to cling to what they know. This is by far much more reassuring!